Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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