Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
