Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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