my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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