Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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