Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
