i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
