Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
