We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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