My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
just tell him i said nine months
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
