Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Randomize
