Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
