and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
