I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
