why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize