when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
