"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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