eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
