That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
