2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
