Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
He kissed a someone with a penis
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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