I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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