people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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