living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize