I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
wow bdsm is so cute
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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