"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
