Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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