My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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