thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
