is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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