I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
