drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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