Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
