yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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