Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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