I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize