I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
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