would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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