If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
