I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
It was confusing and full of hummus
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
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