WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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