Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
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