Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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