I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
