So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
