For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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