There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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