Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
