Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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