college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
