ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
