pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Congratulations! We have a period
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize