I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize