He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I think weed is turning my hair brown
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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