Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
