is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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