She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
