you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
