Well douche your snatch and let's go!
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
