so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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