He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
